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1. Eat from the dustbin (trashcan to you Yanks!)
2. Stay outdoors all day.
3. Get frisky.
4. Eat your furniture.
5. Eat their dinner.
6. Then eat your dinner.
7. Then eat everyone else’s dinner.
8. Torment cats.
9. Jump on people.
10. Eat tissues.
11. Eat socks.
12. Go swimming
13. …then go home without being dried.
14. Sleep on your bed.
15. Make baths illegal.
16. Not allow you to leave them alone.  Ever!
17. Chase flies.
18. Lick you when you are in the shower.  Yuck!
19. People cannot talk but must whistle at all times.
20. Banish 9-5.  All awake time is ME time.
21. Drink from the toilet.
22. Make everyone play with them.
23. Eat from the pavements.
24. Hang out of the car window…whilst it’s being driven.
25. Jump on your kitchen worktop if there’s something tasty on it.
26. Meet the postman.
27. Eat the postman.
28. Eat cat droppings.
29. Kiss you.
30. Have free range around the pet shop.
31. Take YOU for a walk.
32. Be able to jump on livestock.
33. Chase the refuse collectors.
34. Make all vets unemployed.
35. Urinate on EVERYTHING.
36. Begging pay off.
37. Be allowed to roll around on dirty things outside.
38. Chase people on bicycles.
39. Be allowed to dig the lawn.
40. Ignore its name when being called…
41. Unless food is involved!
42. ‘No!’ would actually mean ‘Yes, go ahead’.
43. Meet the dogs that are trapped inside the TV.
44. Make everything about THEM.
45. Bark excessively.
46. Not get told off for whining.
47. Be allowed to sniff the private areas of all your visitors.
48. Be able to wake you up at 3am when it wants to play.
49. Get locked in a supermarket.
50. Make everybody love them.

Gary Mullen from Kong Dog Toys